County Antrim Victory for New Team

"Tango & Cash Meet the Spartans" proved to be a synergistic collaboration indeed.

The newly-formed foursome (seen left, arriving in their 'ride' in full Trailbadger uniform) stormed their way to an impressive win at the Adventure Ireland race in County Antrim on Saturday 12 April.


First back to base after 6 hours of frantic racing, all checkpoints gathered, we were feeling smug.

Almost choking on our minestrone soup, we were gutted to be denied our rightful place as victors, after the sour-grapes invoking of an ancient tribal ruling from 1279, which states that, to win, you must have a girlie on your team. Ba!

Race report - we turned up, had a great day, we smoked the course, arrived back first, ate like kings, and are extremely thankful to Greg and team for a great day out!

Tango & Cash Meet the Spartans!

Agents representing Tango & Cash and rival adventure racing team "Meet the Spartans" have concluded knife-edge negotiations over the past week to confirm the most exciting collaboration since Keith Harris first buried his arm up to the elbow in the lovable Orville.

"Tango & Cash Meet the Spartans" will compete as a team of four in the Adventure Ireland County Antrim adventure race on 12 April 2008. In the words of the great man himself: "I wish I could fly,... but I can't". Inspiring stuff.

Tango & Cash Triumph at Baronscourt

There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth in the Sperrins on Saturday 29 March, as a slight departure from instructions by a couple of other teams gifted Tango & Cash with victory at the CCAR Baronscourt Adventure Race.

Baronscourt 2008 Race Results - XLS file, 33K


(A younger, fresher Tango & Cash at last year's Baronscourt race)

Warning: Race Report - danger of boredom ahead

The weather was brutal for the start, too wet even for our blazers, with lashing rain dampening everything including spirits. However, the rain was soon forgotten as the hooter sounded and 70 eejits galloped up a mucky slope in search of 2 bits of laminated paper.

Back down the slope, the car was our brief campaign headquarters. We quickly marked our checkpoints up, and were the second team to hit the trails, just behind Team Purple 2 (the Purps), who set a helluva pace.

We tried to stick with them as best we could, with NTSR right up on us too. The Purps, just ahead, were extremely gracious in telling us where the first few checkpoints were, but after they cocked one up a bit later on, we decided we couldn’t risk listening anymore, heheheee!

A long slog and a superb tarmac descent took us to the main road, and then the Ulster American Folk Park. The traditionally-clad Folk Park team were all very cheerful in their duties, if a tad bemused at all the frantic activity, and we were soon in and out and back on the bikes.

Still pretty much neck and neck with NTSR and the Purps, the superb tarmac descent was markedly less enjoyable as a climb, but we all dragged ourselves up and slogged out the climb back up into the forest.

The Purps were FAST up the long drag to the forest and we lost sight of them, but for some reason they stopped for a KitKat half-way down the descent towards the bike-drop, and we whizzed past them in full tuck.

Just as we entered the gates of the estate, Davy lost his chain, but thankfully we were freewheeling too fast to pedal anyway, and we made it down to the bike-drop first.

We picked up our map and headed down to TA3, then wondered where the other guys had gone to, as they would definitely have taken us easily on the run down - we assumed (correctly, as it turned out) that they had headed straight out to clear the map checkpoints instead of visiting TA3 first (where they would have learned to only collect 3 markers at a time), and this ultimately proved to be their downfall.

We decided to hit the boats first. The weather had by this time turned gorgeous, and in the beauty of the scene paddling up the lake, we allowed our minds to wander briefly to consider how jarred off the guys were going to be when they finally made it to TA3 with a bunch of markers already picked up! But, snapping ourselves back to life, we hardened our hearts and got back to task.

We picked up the 2 lake markers, beached the boat to pick up the one on the earth bank, and headed back to TA, staggered round another 2 loops to get the rest, and we (Davy, that is) also managed to nick an extra 3 minutes at the bean bag task.

Utterly spent, barely shuffling, and bereft of any more expletives, we pulled off our bibs and collapsed into the vat of soup at the finish at 3:20pm, after 4hrs and 5 minutes of racing; trying to hang with the guys on the bike section wasted us, and made this definitely our most tiring and painful race to date.

Nice buns again, Joan. A genuine thanks to all the folks at CCAR, who, in the face of many unseen challenges, put on a great event every time. Fantastic fun to take part in, and superb innovations to be found in every race. Well done, guys.

The Ulster Way - 600 Miles, 6 Days, 0 Gears

The new Ulster Way is a proposed 600 mile loop of Northern Ireland over roads, tracks, mountains and bogland. When completed, the new route will take in many of Northern Ireland’s portfolio of waymarked ways.

Tango & Cash are attempting to complete the entire proposed route in six consecutive days all under our own steam, on foot and by singlespeed mountain bike, beginning 3 May 2008. To the best of our knowledge, this has never been attempted before.

The Ulster Way in Six Consecutive Days Blog

Is it doable? Who knows, and we are not really fit for it, but we’ll give it a crack anyway, and see how we get on. We intend to make an early start each morning, and we will finish when we finish, most likely in a quite appalling physical and mental state, according to our calculations!

If you would like to join us for a day, or part of a day, email us or leave us a message with your email address - your company is almost certain to be a breath of fresh air, no matter how tedious you may be deemed in other social contexts.

(Note that cycling is not sanctioned on much of the route, so anyone joining the party will need to be prepared to carry their bike for some, possibly long, sections)

Worse Things Happen at Sea

Whilst this is first and foremost a personal challenge, we are going to try and raise as much money as we can for the RNLI, which anyone would recognise is an extremely worthy cause.

Our Ulster Way route will take us within touching distance of all 9 of Northern Ireland’s lifeboat stations.

Make a donation to RNLI at www.justgiving.com/ulsterway.

TrailBadger Biking Tops Steal Show in Milan Fashion Week

Well, so maybe there was a minor flurry of excitement on the outskirts of Antrim town.

Find out more about the TrailBadger tops, and get yours!

Well an' Good in Castlewellan - one-day race report

A creditable fifth was our lot on 26 February in Castlewellan. And our jackets came up a treat in the wash.

WARNING - DEFINITELY BORING IF YOU DID NOT DO THE RACE, PROBABLY BORING EVEN IF YOU DID.

It was a brilliant idea to start the race by having one member of each team enter the maze to find the marshal with the maps and instructions.

It seemed an act of lunacy for Davy to insist that yours truly, who turns any corner and is lost, was to go on the winding errand into the yew labyrinth.

And it was pure pot luck (and 3 previous weeks on Google maps) that saw yours truly 3rd last into the maze but 2nd out, just shy of the steaming heels of Jonny Gallier from Uphill Struggle.

We marked the map for the first bike section and got moving, first to hit the trail with eventual joint winners Team Purple 2, who set a devilish pace over the fields and tracks at such a lick that we saw no other teams until we were halfway up Meelmore on foot, by which point we were busted.

On the road to Tollymore they left us puffing in their wake as we spun out on the single speeds, and they cruised the tarmac to the mountain-boarding.

Mountain-boarding reminds you that you are no longer part of the youth of today. We were brutal at it, but were soon hammering towards Meelmore Lodge, gaining on the lads again as we stomped up the hill.

We marked up the running checkpoints at the bike-drop, and hot-footed about a minute behind the guys. Contouring the hill, we were always a few hundred yards behind the lads, but were right with them by the time they had flaffed around to find the checkpoint at the wee dam.

So began the breezy, wheezy slog up the mighty Meelmore. We kept tramping at our own pace, but lost ground on the lads, and were then gutted to see ultimate joint winners the McCabe brothers RUNNING past us up the valley, and they took the lead about three quarters of the way up.

We were also passed by 3rd and 4th place (for day 1) Passing Wind and NTSR, but we had all bunched up by the time we got to the abseil, given some confusion on the knoll. We decided to clock out, chill out for a few minutes, mark up the rest of our map, eat, drink, chat, and let the uber-feisty folks crack on.

After confirming with Keith (NI’s own Montgomery Wick) that we were unlikely to be killed or maimed on the abseil even if we did something daft, we chucked ourselves over the edge with gay abandon and gambolled back to the bikes.

I can’t remember anything else from there until we reached the kayaks, apart from the wooden skis thing round the souterrain, which we HATE. “OK, 1, 2, 3. Left, right, ... Try bigger steps. Wait, I am falling forward. You ready? What’s wrong? OK. Left, right, ...”

When Steve insisted we don our waterproofs for the kayaks, we laughed at the pipsqueak’s audacity, but clambered into our oil-skins and put our heads above the dam. It was not until we actually had the boat in the water that we realised it was a BRILLIANT idea to be in the waterproofs, and the slog up the lake was awful.

Rounding the point, we decided to take an innovative route, so we headed for shore, chucked our paddles up onto the road, dragged the boat up onto the tarmac, hoisted it above our heads, and started running up the road, portage!

NEVER DO THIS WITH THESE BOATS (It works great with a normal Canadian canoe). Within 200 yards, we were so miserable we were praying we had never been born, so we chucked the boat back over the edge and hopped in, and lost time overall.

The rest of the paddle was paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle, etc, etc, and we were glad to get out of the thing and back to the bikes.

Heading with the wind, on fresh tarmac, down hill, not in a kayak anymore, was a great feeling, but we were spinning out too easily on the single-speeds, but we made short work of the pedal to Greg at the ‘obstacle course’, which consisted of the old water slide from the Valley Leisure Centre, 4 NIE cable drums, 5 broken pallets and some stolen scaffolding.

36 years each without any stretching after exercise, and the ensuing inflexibility, meant we were like oak beams going round the course, but somehow we managed to chuck our bodies over and through everything to get on our way.

Greg had promised us ‘a wee bitch of a climb’ before the finish, and so it turned out. But it was great to finally hit the village again and get back to the centre as the 5th team home, at 3:48pm. Superb food as usual. Our sincere thanks to Joan for organising it all.

What a great race. Well done again, CCAR. Top notch.

Chuck an extra 10 or 20 quid at Ivan or Steve at the next race if you can spare the cash - the lads are losing a personal fortune to put these races on for our benefit!

Early Signs of Relationship Breakdown

A fleeting moment of frustration drives a brief wedge between the normally inseparable Tango & Cash. "You are ALWAYS looking at that bloody map!! There's a race on, in case you hadn't noticed!!"


Looking the part was not enough to push for victory in the 'Castlewellan' CCAR race on 23 February, but the pockets were VERY useful on the day.

(Thanks to Mickey Regan for the pics!)

Tic-Tac Tactics - A New Look for 2008

Following extensive clinical trials during December, Tango & Cash have selected preppy American high-fashion label Ralph Lauren as their clothing of choice for the opening CCAR adventure race on 23 February 2008. Who knows, the blazer may go on to replace the buff as the de rigueur accessory of the serious adventure racer…

Tango Decorates the Bathroom - Cash Supplies the Elbow Grease

The skite up Errigal obviously took more out of us than we had previously thought, with a serious case of the runs, and blood poisoning from a septic elbow, knocking us both flat for several days.

For obvious reasons, the elbow / poisoning pics were the only ones that made the cut! :-o

(Rick taking great pride in his Fiddler Crab impression)

The real deal...

To Err-igal is Human

The mighty Mount Errigal, County Donegal. Basically a big 750-metre-high wobbly peat trifle with granite crushed nuts on top. We always wanted to have a crack at it on/with the bikes, so we departed Antrim at 5:40am on Saturday 15 December 2007, to climb the mountain en route to collecting a sofa in Dungloe on the west coast (there WAS a good reason, but it is irrelevant here).

For a time, we toyed with the idea of trying the climb on the way back, with the sofa, for a more comfortable rest at the top, but given the wind strength, the ground conditions, and the fact that the overall purpose of the journey was sofa retrieval safe and sound, the bikes were a better call.

We knew it was a carry to the top, so we padded the top- and down-tubes with pipe lagging from B&Q. It's a good idea if you are going to be carrying for a long period.

We started in total darkness, but the day came upon us quickly, and by the time we were half way up the scree, morning had well and truly broken.

On the high passes, Davy made the rounding of "Devil's Elbow" and "Dead Man's Corner" look like a stroll in Covent Garden. It was VERY windy on the ridge.

The views were fantastic in between the misty patches, with the dawn light constantly changing.

The summit itself was extremely cold and windy. Nevertheless, Tango & Cash took a moment to contemplate their achievement, sparing a thought for Everest's intrepid but ultimately doomed Mallory and Irvine.

Coming down the scree at the top after the ridge was HAIRY-SCARY, given the wind and the loose material, but with care it was mostly rideable. Seat right down and backside over the back wheel.

We were concerned at one stage that we were going to have some heavy stone tablets added to our packs on the way down...

Given that we were up to our knees in muck for most of the way up the bog section, we did not think the lower slopes would be rideable, but to our surprise and delight, ALL of it was rideable back to the carpark, with only a single pitch over the bars when the front wheel buried.

Bodies and bikes were washed in the river and then we were ready to head for the sofa! Taking a quick look back at the mountain, it looked sad that it had been whipped, and whipped good. And the sofa fitted in the Galaxy allowing us to shut the back door for the trip back - the perfect day.

TrailBadger.com Trip to Kirroughtree, 25 November

No broken bones, just a broken seat. 14 heads. A great day out.
Nothing more to be said, really!

See the photos at Photobox
http://www.trailbadger.com/

"Slieve Martin Slaughter" on TeamGearedUp

Get the report from a wannabe postman here.

The "Slieve Martin Slaughter"

Spawned by the good people of Not The Sunday Run, 10 November 2007 saw the inaugural "Slieve Martin Slaughter" take flight.

Slaughter wouldn't describe it. 4 ascents of Slieve Martin; 46 km. 2,400 vertical metres of climbing. Nearly 7 hours. 21 starters, 7 finishers.

The 46-pound post-bike made it, but just, a hairline fracture in the frame after the first descent having become a gaping wound after all 4.

Well done all the chaps representing TrailBadger.com / Tango & Cash on the day. County Antrim can stand tall!

More on the Slieve Martin Slaughter at Not The Sunday Run

Stayin' Cool in the Cooleys! Tango & Cash Meets Thelma & Louise

We arrived for the Adventure Ireland race in Newry on 20 October 2007 with 2 clear objectives: to be back in time for a hot shower, and to be home in time to watch the Rugby World Cup final.

Result! Results of the Race - Victory! Albeit no girlie, no win!

Danger/Warning/Achtung! If you did not compete in this race (and possibly even if you did), this is perhaps the most tedious piece of literature you will ever have the misfortune to encounter. We record these events for OUR memory, not yours.

Still feeling brave? Read on...

Two changes to the "Tango & Cash Meets Thelma & Louise" team line-up were forced by injury, the ginger (but very nice) Davy/Tango (removed rib) replaced by brunette adventure racing veteran Ian, and our intended Lady Sharon (broken right meta-tarsal) replaced by pretty-boy and race virgin Phil J.

Race roles were agreed in the car-park:

• Al - navigator and natural born leader
• Ian - strategic advisor and technical consultant
• Phil - marketing department
• Rick - enforcer and team glutton

The lasting memory pre-race was Passing Wind's hilarious, albeit quite ingenious, 2-man bike-towing apparatus, which had "terrible accident on the first hill" written all over it! We wonder how it all panned out!...

Blazing the trail

Flaffing about as usual, we were the last team to lock the car and leave the car park, and we headed out of town behind the directionally-confident Al. Loads of teams were fumbling around in the town at the traffic lights wondering where to go, and some were glad to hop on behind us in the uphill struggle for checkpoint 1.

From 1, out onto the main road, it was up and out towards the new road to Dublin, and a peel off onto the old Dublin road in the hunt for checkpoint 2. After a futile search on a road-side ruin with some other teams, and a more careful analysis of the co-ordinates and instructions, we finally worked out that the track in the description was not the train track. We were in fact on the wrong side of the railway line - fortunately there was a wee bridge handy that meant we did not have to double back, and we were in the right place in a jiffy.

Timing is everything

Searching round the crumbling ruin in vain for 5 minutes or so, we were again fortunate to be there just as another team found it precisely where it was noted to be - on tree (go figure, eh?!), but hidden behind the tree (grrrr), so we happily clipped and moved on. By this time, loads of teams had already given up the hunt and had left the checkpoint empty-handed.

Great Scott! I think Ian has just been killed!

Checkpoint 3 was an easy find round the road, and we barely stopped for it on the way to 4, which was on the railings beyond a VERY steep tarmac hill. Our main strategy guy Ian had brake issues at the 90 degree bend at the bottom of the straight, hit the bank HARD, left the bike, and took off head first into the brambles, just missing a tree - lucky, lucky chap - could have been killed, scuppering our chances of finishing!

After hauling a cut and bruised (but still chipper) Ian out of the brambles, and helping him to change his soiled shorts, we clipped at the railing round the corner and headed for the kayaks. Arriving as an even-numbered team (fortunately, we think, as it turned out), we were dismissed from the boats and sent on our way down the road for nearly 4K, before cutting up into the forest near Victoria Lock for checkpoint 6.

Where the Hell IS everybody?!

Having clipped at the gate, we headed on up the hill, but missed our left which we had intended would take us out of the forest and over the hill, so we just headed on up for the road (which was a lucky move for us, in hindsight) and looped round fast for the tough tarmac pull up Black Mountain.

We had not seen another team now since leaving checkpoint 5 at the kayaks, and we were beginning to wonder what was up.

Tight-lipped under interrogation

We were relieved to see some other race folk near 7, where we met the Army team coming down from the checkpoint, coyly dodging our queries as to the whereabouts of the 'cloister' of reeds, which housed the clip. What with all that military training, all they would give was name and rank!

No matter, it turned out to be a straight and easy dash to the reed cloister for the clip, and we lost no time. We decided to play it safe from there in our hunt for 8, and just headed back round the road to pick up the Tain Way instead of burrowing through the forest, which was our initial (and probably wrong) instinct.

Free-ride

A puncture in the marketing department lost us a few minutes, but time stood still anyway as we went on to enjoy the superb descent through Ravensdale Forest to the road for checkpoint 9, including some brilliant singletrack with jumps, berms, drops, etc - great craic!

We sat nose-to-tail and drafted the 4.5K along the road before cutting up for checkpoint 10, where we greeted old pal and often race adversary Mickey Laverty riding his local trails on a training ride, and we followed the Tain Trail back up into the woods.

The long tough climb was rewarded with the best biking of the day down a grassy path to the stile at the road, where our full-suspension marketing department was nearly destroyed by crashing into the gate at the bottom!

A snappy 2.5K of drafting took us to the bike drop, where we were greeted by Greg's smiling chops, ably and loyally supported by one of his patient offspring.

Surely you can't mean THAT hill?!!

Before the race, we had laughed at the thought of a mere 7K of trekking, but the smile was soon wiped off our faces by the climb up The Foxes Rock. A few rests on the way up (cleverly branded as planning sessions) helped us to mentally deal with the initial climb.

On summiting, we could see the Army folks ahead of us by about 15 minutes, so we gambolled on up to the summit of The Split Rock and clipped 15, lickety-split!

Woof!

The Hounds of Hell could not have compelled us to head on over for the optional (and dreadful-looking) checkpoint 16, given how our legs were feeling by now, so we turned on our heels and galloped down for the forest. A quick stop or two to fill up our Camelbaks, take a 'comfort break', and tend our cramping pins, stood us in good stead.

We picked our way through a few hundred yards of thick bracken, took to the forest path back out to the road, and managed a brisk jaunt back to Greg and our trusty steeds, which had by now recovered from their earlier fatigue.

From saddle to paddle

Back in the saddle, Al kept us right as usual, navigating perfectly along the twisting roads down to 18, then down to the main road and the 4.5K back for the kayaking.

Having agreed pairings for the boats, Rick had already drawn the short straw of sitting behind paddle-virgin marketing guru Phil, but Phil soon got the hang of it, and both boats carved a deep and true wake on the way to Victoria Lock, into a strong breeze.

Cramping our style

Reaching the lock and feeling brotherly, having been through so much together so far, we decided to do everything as a team and all tried to get out of the canoes, but 3 of us fell immediately to become the twitching victims of the evils of cramp.

Checkpoint clipped and cramps back under control, it was a tough paddle back towards the dock, and any thoughts of paddling on for the checkpoint down towards the town gladly evaporated when Phil's valiant but questionable technique finally let him down amidst his fearful cries of "Me arms 'ave gone! Me arms 'ave gone!".

Phew!

All that was left now to do was to admit we were spent, hop wearily out of the boats, hand in our card, chat for 5 minutes, and scoot back to the centre on the bikes for a shower. Job done.

Many thanks to Greg and team for a fantastic race, in what was a superb setting and a brilliant day all round. Great fun!!

TrailBadger.com Trip to Scotland 5 -7 October

Twas a fine trip. Lasting memories will include:

• The fantastic weather - 3 days unbroken sunshine - in October?!
  
• The hospitality of Ewan and the Cross Keys Hotel in Peebles
  
• The really quite tricky Kona Dark Side northshore at Mabie
  
• The Karaoke session! Not a word!


• The steak and chips!


• Hugh being passed uphill on day 2 by a 60 year old woman out walking


• The 11 hours of potential biking time spent by Mark fidgeting with his video camera


• Davy's spectacular fall on Spooky Wood - anything for the camera


• International man of mystery Enda joining the party from Copenhagen with fresh legs


• Stevie's small shin scrape and subsequent tosser footballer shinguards


• Lavabo using the excuse of a bad back to drink with Rodger solidly for 2 days.


• Bugsy's disgusting cycling tops, but gorgeous Arthur Daly motor


• The blessed hand of the Virgin Mary herself intervening to prevent Ian from going over the lip of about 20 berms


• Phil beating the baying women off him (and the dusky, smouldering Ian) in the Keg!


• A fresh and spritely Jonny Gray being accused of having a hangover by Ewan because he supposedly "looked terrible"


• Rick being an all-round super chap!

TrailBadger.com - Mountain bike trails for Northern Ireland Bikers - see our Southern Scotland pages.