Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Following 2010's hibernation and meditation, we're coming back into action in 2011 with renewed vigour, unquestionably bigger and better rested than ever before.  In the meantime, we wish all of our friends and colleagues a fulfilling festive period.

(OK, Davy, you can relax the abs now - we got the shot)

The men who learn endurance, are they who call the whole world, brother.
Charles Dickens

TrailBadger Annual Conference, 9 December

A successful and enjoyable evening with 15 friends, fire, meat, music and banter in the snow-covered winter wonderland that was TrailBadger HQ.

Three items on this year's agenda:

• Man of the Year award - won for an unprecented second year on the trot by Hugh for outstanding endeavour, but he was ready this time and didn't quite yield the entertainment of 2009
• Riding a bike up the ladder that nearly resulted in Sparky's death at last year's conference, over the TrailBadger igloo, and down the snow ramp - following Rick's rather laissez-faire attempt, this was manfully achieved by Davy, albeit he landed square on his nose on the other side
• Any other business - four additional items were presented under AOB:
• rhino-charging the igloo from all sides whilst Aran tried to patch up the holes from the inside;
• a long debate on the obvious short-comings of civilian pilots;
• attempting to fix an unexplained subsidence in the TrailBadger HQ perimeter wall; and
• lamenting the state of Jack's wife's new car.

The TrailBadger igloo, poised and ready to receive its challengers,
prior to its untimely demise

Breaking News - Man with red coat stands in front of windmills

Big Davy, on Big Collin, 14 November

CCAR Race 1, Cootehill, 6 November 2010

Lamentably, Tango and Cash weren't able to make this one, giving rise to plenty of pre-race taunts (as in the poster below) from some of the younger (and pretty pasty-looking, it has to be said) competitors.



Defying their ill-looking poster pallour, a big congratulations has to go to Sean and Enda, who came a creditable fourth in the race, despite suffering a puncture, a penalty, and an additional three sittings at the cracker-eating task - "COOOOOOOKKIEEEEES"

The irony of the team name "No race for old men" won't be lost on the lads, given that the average age of the folks on the podium was 63 (only brought down by Melanie Spath, who surely can't be any more than 21, and Gerry Kingston, who is currently studying for his 11+ and says he is really looking forward to "big school").

Causeway Coast Adventure Racing (CCAR)

Slieve Martin Slaughter 2010 (early shift)

Unable to make the official Slieve Martin Slaughter at 9am on Saturday due to a cake-baking competition we were judging that morning, we took our chance 8 hours earlier to reunite the Post Bike with the summit of Slieve Martin, then tore down the switchbacks on Davy's new tandem.

Anyone who fancies a rattle on the Post Bike over Fern Gully, now's your chance, as we left the bike up at the summit for some brave soul to have a crack!

Our tandem descent proved tricky enough, as we had lost the batteries for the bike lights on the way up; found one of them right at the bottom of the switchbacks, but the other one remains on the hill somewhere. If you find it, stick up a message.

Official NTSR Slieve Martin Slaughter 2010 event report here.


(1:00am on Slieve Martin, misty and c-c-c-cold)


(1:10am - A final moment with the post-bike before we departed on the tandem)


(4:00pm - The old post bike lounges majestically atop Slieve Martin, slaughter completed for another year)

TrailBadger Annual Scotland Trip, 1 - 3 October

Click image for full size.

Inspired by Rembrandt van Rijn's "The Nightwatch" or "The Shooting Company of Franz Banning Cocq"

Starring: Team TrailBadger, Glentress 2010
Creative direction: Ian Shovels
Art restoration: PJ

The Mourne 500 - Take 2! 30 July

Every point in the Mournes over 500m in height – 21 hours (18 hrs 26 min from Point 1 to Point 39), 68km, 5400m of climbing.

Atop Finlieve, the Mourne 500 completed

Following our abject failure on 5 June, we were all lined up to give the Mourne 500 another crack with the bikes on 30 July. Unfortunately, Davy had to pull out at the last minute due to a particularly nasty bout of athlete’s foot, so instead Enda and I decided to have a quick stroll around the route to stretch the legs, Enda fresh from completing the Transalp Challenge with Mickey Laverty as Team TrailBadger the week before.

GPS stats of our Mourne 500 route on the day

Photo Gallery of the Mourne 500

Incapacitated as he was, Davy joined us for every stride via his trusty CB radio, and was a constant source of inspiration and advice through what turned out to be a pretty arduous 21 hours!

We decided to do the route in the opposite direction to the previous bike effort, parking at Carrick Little car park and heading up Binnian, our start time about 11:20am in the rain and mist.

Food and supplies were similar to before, with LOTS of pizza, chocolate, gels and energy bars (crisps too would have greatly improved the experience), plus first aid kit and bivvy bag, torch and extra layers, etc. But no bikes!

The weather was unpredictable, with rain, drizzle, mist, wind, sunshine and clear skies to keep us on our toes, but it was pretty cold, wet, windy and miserable through the night. Throughout, we were glad of our compass to keep us right, as visibility was very changeable.

It started to get dark when we were coming off Ben Crom around 10pm, and the following mountains were tackled in total darkness: Doan, Slieveloughshannagh, Carn, Muck, Ott, Slievenamuck, Cock, Pigeon Rock. The first hints of daybreak greeted us as we tackled Slievemoughanmore.

After our final point, Finlieve, we shuffled down to the road and started a 12km trudge on the tarmac back to the car. Once we got to the shop in Attical, to our great relief a geological research team were kind enough to offer us a lift back to the car park in their Land Rover.

So, who’s next for this one?!

All the points on our route

The Mourne 500, 5 June 2010

"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." Michelangelo

Spences Mountain - the end of the line for us

The challenge

We’ve been lying low in 2010, so we thought it was time we hit some peaks with the bikes. Hence the challenge of the Mourne 500 was born... Every point in the Mournes above 500m, unsupported (no help from others, with supplies or anything), and of course in the company of our singlespeed bikes. We identified 35 points to be visited, and we set our route to try and nail it on 5 June 2010, with the intention of leaving a Tango and Cash calling card at each point.

How we got on

We failed! We started at 02:30 (yep, that’s 2:30am) from Carrick Little car park, and headed along the road on the bikes towards Finlieve, our first target point. The weather was dry, warm and sunny the whole time (after 04:55 anyway, when the sun came up).

Distance we travelled: 67 km

Vertical climbing: 3,562 metres

See all our photos (links to Picasa)

Detail of our route, including escape point - click for large

In short, the mountains brutalised, battered, tore, wrenched and drained us, and we reluctantly decided to take ourselves off the hills after completing Spences Mountain (our 28th point), with 7 points of our Mourne 500 challenge remaining. It was soon to be pitch dark and, aside from feeling absolutely dreadful, clambering around on the side of in particular Slievelamagan with bikes on our backs in the middle of the night was just too darn dangerous, and we weren’t equipped properly.

So we peeled off our intended route below Rocky Mountain and took the path down to Dunnywater and back to Carrick Little car park along the road. Arriving back at the car at 22:30, that was exactly 20 hours on the mountains, a good solid day’s work-out by anyone’s reckoning, and boy we were in pieces.
A quick chicken and chips in Newcastle nearly didn’t happen, as chippy staff were concerned that we were a couple of near-comatose drunks! The drive home to Antrim via Belfast was completed at about 27 miles per hour, and on a number of occasions on the M2 we were very thankful for the invention of rumble strips!

Looking back over the map, we worked out that only about 200 metres max of our climbing was done with us actually riding the bikes. The rest of the time we were carrying or dragging them, and that was the case for lots of the flat and downhill too, given the tricky ground. We had lots of food, kit and supplies with us; with bike on back that was over 40lbs of weight to our packs, which was hard enough going in bits. Forget the bikes; it would be a really good challenge on foot, and we know a few folks who might be up for that...

Anyone who nails this one, it’s a helluva big achievement, and there’s a beer on us from Mourne Country’s own Whitewater Brewery (makers of Belfast Ale, at grid ref 260 171) for anyone who can do it. We’d love to see somebody give it a crack, so get in touch if you want any info.

Good to see Barry Tinnelly and his boys along the way (thanks for the Mars bar and brandy ball), also Rowan and Ian of 26Extreme in Trailbadger tops, who were scouting their big race for this weekend coming, the Mourne Way Marathon.

Dreadful bits

It was a hard day out, no question, but there were a couple of bits that were particularly tough going. Some of the terrain was woeful, especially dragging or carrying a bike, but none of the climbs have made our list!

• Coming down off Eagle Mountain to Windy Gap – deadly steep
• Descending Donard to Crossone – 300m very steep descent through thick vegetation and rocks
• Finlieve to Shanlieve – peat hags, clambering them up and down, up and down, endlessly (until it ended)
• From Doan to Ben Crom and back to under Meelbeg – more peat hags, long grass, real heavy going
• Descending one of the Meels - can't remember which one, but it was hellish steep and tricky going from rock to rock

Choosing our target points

Anything that looked like it had more than 10m prominence (stickin up!) from the ground around it, we added to the list of points to be visited, and we threw in a few more that we were not sure about, just to cover ourselves, as some of the maps have differing data on them. We got this info just by studying the contour lines on the maps, nothing more scientific than that, and I know the nerds could probably pick holes in some of our choices. It’s worth saying, we didn’t clamber up on top of any tors (apart from Bearnagh main tor, which I nearly fell off), as rock-climbing ain’t our thing!

Pizza

We were delighted to be sponsored by Antrim’s Pizza the Action for our Mourne 500 attempt. We started out with 48 slices of pizza, and we ate 38 of them during the day. Ham and pineapple was the best topping by a mile, and went down a treat. “Mighty Meaty” was a poor choice for one of the pizzas (our fault), so 3 slices of that ended up in the Ott car park, 2 in Bloody Bridge River, and the other 3 fell apart in the bottom of the rucksack, and they’re still there. The only other pizza remaining was 2 slices of chicken and sweet-corn, which was palatable but dry, and required a little extra seasoning. A huge thanks to Hugh of Pizza the Action for fuelling the fat boys in our challenge; definitely good grub for that kind of long day out.

Give us a shout if you want any info about this route.

The UN aid convoy made it through in the nick of time

Sunrise in the Mournes, circa 5:00am

A typical climb - slogging up Bearnagh

View towards Hen Mountain off the top of Cock Mountain

Only 47 more slices to go

More "Man from Del Monte" than "Man from Milk Tray"!

Davy snuggles into his final resting place, on top of Crossone, the end now close

A bottle of this stuff with our compliments if you can nail this route

Tango and Cash are now on Twitter!

TrailBadger Annual VE Day Commemoration

As is custom, the TrailBadger crew spent 10 May, 65th anniversary of VE Day, in full uniform, off the beaten track in the Mournes. A great day out in glorious weather, and home for tea.

Started at Trassey, round Meelmore to Fofanny Dam (where we picked up Monsignor James Keown), down the road to Pigeon Rock, up the wall over Pigeon Rock, down to the Hen Track, over the saddle between Tornamrock and Rocky Mountain, down through the forest to Cloughmore Stone, into Rostrevor, chicken and chips, up Finlieve, down the track and into Attical, ice cream, then back to Trassey up the road. Poor Mark suffered badly for the last hour, but it was all for one, and one for all! ;-)

The Hung Parliament

James worked hard on his suntan

The Snows of Kilimanjaro

Ambitions of realising our African dream were dashed at the first hurdle, when we were unable to satisfy ourselves as to the security of our pallet of Denny sausages once it would hit the Dark Continent. Undaunted, the months of planning paid off and, at the first attempt, on 1 April 2010, we nailed it!

The Road to Killyman Giro

Killyman, just outside Dungannon, Co Tyrone, was our target for the day. Given that the Tango & Cash team headquarters is in Antrim, lapping Lough Neagh in an 80 mile drive-by seemed the only sensible option, setting out at 10am.

Next up, our choice of bicycles for the trip – two pre-war clunkers with rod brakes; a gents’ Triumph Roadster and a ladies’ Raleigh of similar specification, both in truly appalling condition – perfect! The only preparation they needed other than dragging them out of a farm shed was pumping up the tyres, and hey presta, they stayed up!

The weather was sunny but cold, perfect for our new 100% acrylic sports cardigans. We had fine views all day over Lake Victoria, but we had to keep on the move to escape the attentions of hungry lions and rampaging zebra!

We thought our party was well and truly over when the pedal broke off the Triumph just after Ballyronan. Cue much weeping and gnashing of teeth.



We were lucky to stumble into the yard of Jim Clements, a local farmer with a big heart and an even bigger welder! Jim was great craic with plenty of bike stories of his own, and it was with some regret when, after half an hour, we were back on the road and bearing down on Killyman.

The "Killyman Giro" in the bag, we were happy boys to reach the village Post Office for some provisions, as we had been battering into the wind for 40 miles and needed some energy food. Hula Hoops, Cream Eggs, a six-pack of Blue Riband wafer biscuits, washed down with some great craic with the Post-Mistress, were just the ticket to put us back on form, and we set out for a feed in Portadown with the wind on our tails.

JP’s in Portadown put the GTX back into our Castrol.

The legendary Rowan McMahon, fresh from a batch of tax returns, turned out to wish us luck on our last 30 miles.

Given how far we’d come, a broken chain at 5:20pm outside Lurgan we hardly even considered to be a minor inconvenience, and we were soon back on the road.

Still smiling after 82 miles (well, not really - this photo was taken at mile 6!). We were tired boys when we finally hit home at 7:15pm.

Davy - Sporting Achiever 2010! (I know!)

It's often said that behind every great sporting achiever, there's a great partner; so it came as no surprise that Davy was to be crowned Sporting Achiever of the Year at the 2010 Thales company awards.

In winning the trophy, Davy joins an elite group of athletes including 2001 winners the Deep Sea Angling Club, as well as 2008 champion Paddy Mallon, who won the Loughshannagh Horseshoe fell-running race in 2007 being the only person out of 200 runners who didn't climb the wrong mountain in the fog.

Davy's surprise at the award was matched only by his delight that Usain Bolt hadn't got that job in the credit control department.

Right! Time to DO something!

OK. No muckin' about. 2010 is about...

Kilimanjaro, with bikes! Details to follow.

Nice giraffes!!

Merry Christmas from Tango and Cash!

Not much racing this year, but we travelled the length, breadth and height of Ireland with Enda and Mark on the Ireland's Extremities trip in May, and somehow managed to retain our Belfast Rat Race title with Karen (BECAUSE of Karen, actually) by a mere six seconds. So we'll eat our turkey with some satisfaction this year.



Best wishes to everyone who has provided us with support and laughter in 2009, and, to anyone we have offended, please remember the timeless words of Napoleon Bonaparte:

"Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence".

Looking forward to hooking up in 2010.


Rick & Davy

TrailBadger Christmas Party 2009

Fourteen hardy souls braved the cold to enjoy the TrailBadger.com Xmas BBQ on Friday 11 December, sett (geddit?) on the rolling banks of Sixmilewater tributary the Clady Water.

Ian, Enda, Stevie, PK, Hugh, Jonny, Phil, Sparky, Davy, Lauren, Tom, Conor, Bug and Rick enjoyed a cocktail of hotdogs, bbq beans, condiments, lubricants and open fire, with the unmistakable tones of Billy Ocean leading off the Friday night sounds of the 80’s on the beat-box. Bug led the charge with the catering in his time-honoured Ray Mears style.

The TrailBadger Man of the Year trophy was presented to Mr Wallace, for outstanding endeavour during 2009. Delighted to receive the award of a Tyrone Crystal fruit-bowl, his delight soon evaporated when he was presented with half a pint of Bulmers & Baileys (which basically turns to cheese as soon as the two mix). Credit to him, he got three quarters of the way through eating it before he finally threw up.

Each attendee was also presented with his new badger pelt, on the understanding that everyone would complete the TrailBadger Trials Challenge, a rickety see-saw made from a wooden box and a broken aluminium ladder.


Miraculously, nobody died, but Sparky NEARLY did. Stevie, particularly upset by the incident, was heard later to cry "You're all a bunch of Palestines!"

See video of what happened to Sparky

The formalities were completed with the installation, in the TrailBadger bike emporium, of the 2010 Ace Fixings calendar, which, it was unanimously agreed, was extremely tastefully done.

TrailBadger Man of the Year 2009

"Bulmers & Baileys, you say? Interesting"

"Right, em, not quite what I was hoping for, I'll be honest"

Only 300ml to go!