Sunday, October 05, 2008

"Passing Wind" Strikes Back! Binevenagh 1-Day Race Report

We should have known we were all in for a battering from Billy and Gerry of Passing Wind at Binevenagh on 4th October, when they presented themselves at the start of the race in their new Stormtrooper helmets. It was indeed to be their day, in brutal weather conditions of heavy wind and rain. And Tango and Cash? Well, The Force just wasn't with us today.

Click here for a highly entertaining report on Average Joes blog (there's a first time for everything!)

Race highlight: FoyleHov Powerturn Buggies - check this place out!!



Billy and Gerry of Passing Wind were dressed to impress, and impress they did.

WARNING: Race Report - Do not read whilst driving or operating heavy machinery.
Off the bus at Mussenden Temple, the hooter sounded and, in the excitement, the first orienteering loop was completed flat out – we were all knackered by the time we started down the hill towards the beach.

Passing Wind established an early lead up the beach to the cave, but whilst the rest of us picked up the code just inside the cave entrance, Gerry seemed intent on heading on in for some additional pot-holing in his new multi-sports helmet, and they lost a bit of time.

Picking up the first bike, the teams were already well spread out, and Passing Wind had regained the advantage, with the Deliverance Brothers and Uphill Struggle also a bit ahead of us. We arrived at the ice-cream stand just as Deliverance were leaving, and I could swear I heard Sean asking for seconds.

Clearly very well brought up young men, Jonny and Mark of Uphill Struggle politely licked their ice-creams, quite the gentlemen. Not so us, particularly Davy, whose favourite musical instrument has always been the dinner bell! In two crunches and a burp, we were up and away, just ahead of the lads. (Ian of the Spartans played the gluten-free diet card here, and poor Enda had two pokes to eat himself).

We marked up our maps a bit too slowly at the caravan park, but were out the door as the fourth team onto the bikes. Once it got steep, we were soon passed by Peter Cole and his new secret weapon. They were pedalling like demons and chatting calmly to each other as they went – most depressing, and we were for once glad to be back on foot, arriving at the bike-drop just behind them and alongside Uphill Struggle.

We made decent enough work of the foot climb up to the lake, and arrived a step behind Peter Cole and his pet ostrich, but just managed to nip out of the van and into the boat ahead of them (OK, we stole the boat – it was a rather rude manoeuvre! Sorry, lads!). The lads must have put a voodoo spell on us at this point, as we made a dreadful pig’s ear of our route back down off the hill. We arrived back at the bikes in sixth place, having been second as we had hopped in front of the fellas onto the boat.

On the way down back down the track on foot, we met up with pocket dynamo Paul Mahon, whose advice to us on down-hill running technique was taken with a pinch of salt when he ended up crashing face-first into the sticks and muck, heheheeeee.

Back on the bikes, and raging that our stupid mistake had us now well off the pace, we tore through the forest, spitting various members of Average Joes out the back. We arrived at the boats just ahead of Uphill Struggle, but faffed about trying desperately get our life-jackets to close, and the lads hit the water first.

Paddling down the river, we met Passing Wind coming back, over ten minutes ahead of us. Talk turned briefly to sinking them in an act of unprecedented gamesmanship but, not wanting to tarnish the reputation of good sportsmanship associated with CCAR races, we made do with a quick splash at them before setting our sights for the checkpoint. Uphill Struggle pulled away from us a bit in the boats on the way back, and it was a relief to be off the river.

We soon caught Uphill Struggle on the bikes, and we were sure they were plum out of gas as we passed them on the road, but they stayed about fifty yards behind us all the way to the gliding club for the paper planes task. We arrived there just as Deliverance and Peter & Emu were leaving together, so we reckoned there was still merit in pushing hard, as it was getting tight.

I was seriously running out of puff here, and Davy had to practically drag me from the gliding club to the buggies at FoyleHov. We saw that Passing Wind must have lost a bit of time to here, as we arrived just as they were heading out the gate, and Peter & The Wolf were hot on their heels.

We flew round the FoyleHov buggies course, having decided that Davy would take both controls and that I would use my mind to control his left hand by ESP. This proved to be a very successful technique. Lap completed, and now totally covered in cow-shit and back on the bikes, we could see Deliverance on the road ahead, and we worked hard to try and eat into their lead, Davy again pushing the pace.

We were DELIGHTED to time out at Sampson’s Tower for the archery, and the folks with the arrows were a font of great advice. Alas, it was like throwing pearls to swine, and we each just winged the deer from the closest point and got on our way, rueing the missed opportunity for extra points.

Having easily found the yellow ribbon round the old oak tree (not lost on any country music fans) at the rough fort, the nettle stings we sustained proved great relief to our nagging rheumatism.

Into the town and along the track to the river, we somehow had it in our heads that the checkpoint was at the other side. We were both half-way across and close to being swept to our deaths when three disapproving fishermen drew our attention to the punch that was lying beside our bikes! Relieved we didn’t have to go any further, we punched the card and headed for home, Davy pedalling strongly, and me trying in vain to hang close.

We arrived back as the fourth team, just ahead of Uphill Struggle and about eleven or twelve minutes off the leaders after five hours of racing. Time adjustments will confirm timings and places, but the rumour round town is that Passing Wind just nicked it. Well done to Passing Wind – Lord Vader will be most pleased.

(Apologies for references above to Peter Cole's team-mate, whose name I don't know - the big lad was flying!)


Another superb CCAR race, finishing with the usual sumptuous spread of eats supplied afterwards by Joan - our thanks to the whole CCAR team of organisers, marshals and supporters for a fantastic day of fun in difficult conditions for racers and organisers alike.

Some photos from the race:


Ivan handled the race briefing with his usual composure and clarity


Davy proved once again to be surprisingly agile for a big fella, sinking his ice-cream with all the grace and poise of vintage Nureyev



The Spartans were starting to suffer badly after the pull along the beach, and were relieved to top their ice-creams with WD-40



Uphill Struggle took a moment on Binevenagh to double-check their co-ordinates and flirt outrageously with each other


Paul Mahon was surprised to meet us coming off the side of Binevenagh

CCAR’s Steve looked cold but steadfast as he manned the kayak section


Deliverance Brothers were now going so well, they had plenty of time to cruise for chicks



The archery marshals had to re-emphasise that there were no points available for felling the livestock in the field



Rick tried walloping the deer over the head with the bow, and was gutted to be denied a kill despite its head falling off


Peter Cole was flying as usual, but the sight of him at the end assured us that he had had to work hard to keep up with his partner


The Dark Lord himself congratulated his henchmen, Billy and Gerry of Passing Wind, on a job well done.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

obviously going for starwars big style to divert attention from your short shorts photo from the previous event!!

Anonymous said...

Super posting T & C .

Pity ye are not as fast in your races as you are obviously adept at speedy blogging.
Ye missed a great Night O and the Delights of Donegal on Sunday. This coupled with the unexpected bonus of HM's catering service in the army barracks for dinner and breakfast and Big Bob's snoring for Ireland why would anyone have gone home on Sat evening is beyond me.
Unless they were tired n hungry n cranky or maybe just lazy and decided to play the "domestic" Time Out card?
Until next time my rather rotund but surprisingly fast friends!

Anonymous said...

obviously havent a baldy who this is then? want a clue?

Tango and Cash said...

go on then! our database of folks who say 'ye' is pretty big!

Billy said...

You guys really know how to take the p**s! We looked nothing like them!!
It was really good fun on Saturday and you guys missed another really good day on Sunday.

JackieO said...

Waaaay to much time on your hands but brilliant report lads! Loved the pics!

On 1st Nov, see you, I will! ;)

Tango said...

Ja Ja Binks, is that you?

Anonymous said...

Now you are just taking this star wars thing a bit far. As Princess Leia once said “you are a little small for a stormtrooper”. I think she meant short.
A brilliant report – well done.
Gerry

Anonymous said...

Ye pair are indeed Legends ................... in yer own imaginations at least!

Was great to see the speedsters Passing Wind in your direction! Makes a difference from all the Hot Air ye pair talk, write, etc :-)

Hasta Las Cooleys!

Max aka anonymous 8.35am only!

Anonymous said...

Is it really ture that passing wind have signed up for KOTE

http://www.501st.co.uk/index.php?categoryid=1

Tango and Cash said...

Signed up for it?! They are the founding fathers!!!!

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