TrailBadger Annual VE Day Commemoration

As is custom, the TrailBadger crew spent 10 May, 65th anniversary of VE Day, in full uniform, off the beaten track in the Mournes. A great day out in glorious weather, and home for tea.

Started at Trassey, round Meelmore to Fofanny Dam (where we picked up Monsignor James Keown), down the road to Pigeon Rock, up the wall over Pigeon Rock, down to the Hen Track, over the saddle between Tornamrock and Rocky Mountain, down through the forest to Cloughmore Stone, into Rostrevor, chicken and chips, up Finlieve, down the track and into Attical, ice cream, then back to Trassey up the road. Poor Mark suffered badly for the last hour, but it was all for one, and one for all! ;-)

The Hung Parliament

James worked hard on his suntan

The Snows of Kilimanjaro

Ambitions of realising our African dream were dashed at the first hurdle, when we were unable to satisfy ourselves as to the security of our pallet of Denny sausages once it would hit the Dark Continent. Undaunted, the months of planning paid off and, at the first attempt, on 1 April 2010, we nailed it!

The Road to Killyman Giro

Killyman, just outside Dungannon, Co Tyrone, was our target for the day. Given that the Tango & Cash team headquarters is in Antrim, lapping Lough Neagh in an 80 mile drive-by seemed the only sensible option, setting out at 10am.

Next up, our choice of bicycles for the trip – two pre-war clunkers with rod brakes; a gents’ Triumph Roadster and a ladies’ Raleigh of similar specification, both in truly appalling condition – perfect! The only preparation they needed other than dragging them out of a farm shed was pumping up the tyres, and hey presta, they stayed up!

The weather was sunny but cold, perfect for our new 100% acrylic sports cardigans. We had fine views all day over Lake Victoria, but we had to keep on the move to escape the attentions of hungry lions and rampaging zebra!

We thought our party was well and truly over when the pedal broke off the Triumph just after Ballyronan. Cue much weeping and gnashing of teeth.



We were lucky to stumble into the yard of Jim Clements, a local farmer with a big heart and an even bigger welder! Jim was great craic with plenty of bike stories of his own, and it was with some regret when, after half an hour, we were back on the road and bearing down on Killyman.

The "Killyman Giro" in the bag, we were happy boys to reach the village Post Office for some provisions, as we had been battering into the wind for 40 miles and needed some energy food. Hula Hoops, Cream Eggs, a six-pack of Blue Riband wafer biscuits, washed down with some great craic with the Post-Mistress, were just the ticket to put us back on form, and we set out for a feed in Portadown with the wind on our tails.

JP’s in Portadown put the GTX back into our Castrol.

The legendary Rowan McMahon, fresh from a batch of tax returns, turned out to wish us luck on our last 30 miles.

Given how far we’d come, a broken chain at 5:20pm outside Lurgan we hardly even considered to be a minor inconvenience, and we were soon back on the road.

Still smiling after 82 miles (well, not really - this photo was taken at mile 6!). We were tired boys when we finally hit home at 7:15pm.

Davy - Sporting Achiever 2010! (I know!)

It's often said that behind every great sporting achiever, there's a great partner; so it came as no surprise that Davy was to be crowned Sporting Achiever of the Year at the 2010 Thales company awards.

In winning the trophy, Davy joins an elite group of athletes including 2001 winners the Deep Sea Angling Club, as well as 2008 champion Paddy Mallon, who won the Loughshannagh Horseshoe fell-running race in 2007 being the only person out of 200 runners who didn't climb the wrong mountain in the fog.

Davy's surprise at the award was matched only by his delight that Usain Bolt hadn't got that job in the credit control department.

Right! Time to DO something!

OK. No muckin' about. 2010 is about...

Kilimanjaro, with bikes! Details to follow.

Nice giraffes!!

Merry Christmas from Tango and Cash!

Not much racing this year, but we travelled the length, breadth and height of Ireland with Enda and Mark on the Ireland's Extremities trip in May, and somehow managed to retain our Belfast Rat Race title with Karen (BECAUSE of Karen, actually) by a mere six seconds. So we'll eat our turkey with some satisfaction this year.



Best wishes to everyone who has provided us with support and laughter in 2009, and, to anyone we have offended, please remember the timeless words of Napoleon Bonaparte:

"Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence".

Looking forward to hooking up in 2010.


Rick & Davy

TrailBadger Christmas Party 2009

Fourteen hardy souls braved the cold to enjoy the TrailBadger.com Xmas BBQ on Friday 11 December, sett (geddit?) on the rolling banks of Sixmilewater tributary the Clady Water.

Ian, Enda, Stevie, PK, Hugh, Jonny, Phil, Sparky, Davy, Lauren, Tom, Conor, Bug and Rick enjoyed a cocktail of hotdogs, bbq beans, condiments, lubricants and open fire, with the unmistakable tones of Billy Ocean leading off the Friday night sounds of the 80’s on the beat-box. Bug led the charge with the catering in his time-honoured Ray Mears style.

The TrailBadger Man of the Year trophy was presented to Mr Wallace, for outstanding endeavour during 2009. Delighted to receive the award of a Tyrone Crystal fruit-bowl, his delight soon evaporated when he was presented with half a pint of Bulmers & Baileys (which basically turns to cheese as soon as the two mix). Credit to him, he got three quarters of the way through eating it before he finally threw up.

Each attendee was also presented with his new badger pelt, on the understanding that everyone would complete the TrailBadger Trials Challenge, a rickety see-saw made from a wooden box and a broken aluminium ladder.


Miraculously, nobody died, but Sparky NEARLY did. Stevie, particularly upset by the incident, was heard later to cry "You're all a bunch of Palestines!"

See video of what happened to Sparky

The formalities were completed with the installation, in the TrailBadger bike emporium, of the 2010 Ace Fixings calendar, which, it was unanimously agreed, was extremely tastefully done.

TrailBadger Man of the Year 2009

"Bulmers & Baileys, you say? Interesting"

"Right, em, not quite what I was hoping for, I'll be honest"

Only 300ml to go!

CCAR Antrim Hills - Close but no cigar

A crisp, cold, still day was the perfect back-drop for the CCAR Antrim Hills race from Watertop Farm on 28 November. It was great to see a big turn-out for the last race of the 2009 series, nearly 30 teams, and hopefully it proved encouragement enough for Ivan to put on another series in 2010!

Delighted with our performance on the bikes after a dodgy foot section, we were third to finish, nine minutes behind the unstoppable Passing Wind and two minutes behind Deliverance Cousins, after just over 3.5 hours of racing.

Results are not yet clear. We were timed out at the abseil waiting unduly long for the terrified, squealing Deliverance Cousins to do the abseil, and we reckon that after time adjustment, we have managed to just hold onto second place.

(Edit 1 Dec: Joint second on the results, but it seemed clear on the day that Deliverance Cousins had just nicked it.)

Deliverance Cousins Enda and Sean bask in the glory of nearly beating us.

RACE REPORT - If you did not attend Watertop Farm on 28 Nov, don't even bother!

Once Joan had worked out what side of the start/finish line we were to be standing on, the hooter sounded and we all took off on the foot section along paths, roads, and slippery bridges.

Passing Wind led from the start, showing a clean pair of heels from after 50 yards. We, however, maintained very dirty pairs of heels throughout the foot section, completing it in about 15^th spot, having mistakenly thought that it was a mandatory walk.

During the assault course, Davy initially attempted to go through the pipe, but had to resort to the zip-line instead, cracking some poor sod in the balls with the harness when passing it back to the top.

We were on the bikes with no messing, passing a couple of teams in the process, and were up and across the road into the forest, stamping hard up the hill.

We met Deliverance Cousins on the path, utterly bewildered and completely lost at a junction, so we took them under our wing and guided them up to the checkpoint at the chambered grave. Passing Wind headed back past us as we approached it, so we realised we had suddenly found ourselves up in second place. We guided the Deliverance Cousins out to the next checkpoint out on the road, before the big tarmac descent down into Cushendun.

Heading downhill, our singlespeeds were no match for the Deliverance Cousins’ geared steeds, and they disappeared out of sight quickly. We got to the boats as quickly as our little spinning legs would carry us, and were surprised that we were so close to the guys in front. We took our chance to beach Passing Wind on a rock and drench the unsuspecting Deliverance Cousins on our way up the river.

We lost a wee bit of time hunting for the checkpoint in the cave, which we tried to make up for on the way back from the pier by taking a short-cut onto the beach, but Ivan wasn’t in the mood for any entrepreneurship, and sent us back round to Steve at the jetty on the river.

We made short order of the run round the village, but didn’t see a soul during it. On the beach, Ann congratulated us on being both the fastest AND the slowest competitors on the space-hoppers.

Glad to be back onto the bikes, we were soon carving into the lead of the guys ahead. Things got technical on the rough track, and we could see the guys a couple of minutes ahead of us making slow progress, which spurred us on – they even had to get off and walk a few times, so we knew they were bound to be really suffering!

Over the back of the hill, we pushed on as hard as our legs would spin, but again, on the singlespeeds this was not as quick as we wished.

We arrived down at the wee lake just as Deliverance Cousins were leaving. Passing Wind’s technique across the pond had them now well ahead. Billy stood in the boat and held Gerry’s legs wheelbarrow style, whilst the ginger Dervish did the butterfly stroke out front. Genius!

All that was left to do was to get up to Keith, Jonny and Greg at the abseil, wait for Deliverance Cousins to do their bit, and get back to the centre sharpish.

Karen Duggan and race partner Richard had a great old tussle with Barry and Didi for first mixed team and, despite Karen tearing off towards Dublin with 100 yards to go, they just managed to hold on to take it.

A massive thanks to the whole CCAR team, crowned by Joan and Shirley's superb spread afterwards. A brilliant day’s fun, and definitely a format that suits the majority of folks. Another wee bonus loop for the first few teams back would have crowned it – maybe in 2010?

On a final note, history is what was written, not what happened! ;-)

Cuchulainn Challenge 2009

An unsatisfactory day at the office for Tango & Cash with Pimm's & White on 7 November, at the 8 hr Cuchulainn Challenge, understudy to the 24 hr Cooley Raid. We don't know how we did, but it was well short of our exacting standards due to a range of factors, all of them our fault!!

(Edit: turns out we were 1st team of four, and 3rd overall in the 8hr race, but loads of teams doing the 24hr race skinned us, so it's not actually much to shout about!)

(Another Edit: there was supposedly an error in the results, and we were actually 1st team of four and 2nd overall in the 8hr race - the bad day at the office turned out pretty darn good!)

Highlight of the day was watching Billy and Gerry of Passing Wind paddling their canoe for about 100 metres sitting BACK TO FRONT, wondering why it wasn't handling so well, then nearly ending up in Carlingford Lough trying to get turned round - brilliant stuff!

We struggled in the kayaks (even though we were sitting the right way round), losing about 10 minutes or so on the front-runners, then really suffered on the initial climb on the bikes until we got warmed up. By that time, we were about 30 minutes off the pace, and never to regain it.

Davy took a nasty tumble off the bike not long after the kayaks, trying to avoid some chap who just stopped in the middle of the road whilst Davy had his nose in the map, so at least that gave us something to talk about! We hardly saw another team all day, so the usual banterous exchanges were kept to a minimum.

By the time we had finally found our mojo, we knew we hadn't a mission of catching those in front. So, we took a gamble and went for the foot orienteering instead of the bike bonus, in the vain hope of aliens abducting anyone they saw on bikes, to leave the way clear for us. This section through a misty, barren, featureless wasteland removed any remaining energy and enthusiasm for life, as well as most of Enda's epidermis (due to him breaking in a new pair of shorts - ouch!!).

It was pitch black when we were dropping back into Carlingford on the bikes after a tough enough final section, so we even skipped the easy bonus at the end and were delighted to finally arrive back at base after about 8.5 hrs on the trot.

Thanks to Ivan and the rest of team CCAR for another great race, albeit it wasn't our day.

Gerry Kingston from Passing Wind hones his pony-trekking skills

TrailBadger.com Annual Scotland Trip, 16-18 October

Sixteen hardy souls braved baking sunshine and balmy temperatures to endure the meteorological hell that was Glentress and Innerleithen.


Faces set like stone to the driving blizzard and gale force winds, the brave 16 remained steadfast atop the mighty peak at Innerleithen, boldly singing rousing hymns, contemplating their sure destruction, and welcoming their glorious transition to eternity.


Jonny wondered as to the precise spot of his icy grave, completely lost and disorientated in the total white-out conditions.


John Ritchie was the beneficiary of this year's trip to Borders General Hospital. (I'm happy to report that the liposuction was a complete success).

Roe Valley Rampage, 3rd October

Tango and Cash were delighted to finish 2nd on Saturday in the Roe Valley Rampage 1-day race, following an awful start. The last time we wore the jackets to race, in Castlewellan, we were fifth, so we were well pleased with our progress from then.

Well done (as usual!) to Passing Wind, who romped to victory, and commiserations to the two Peters, who finished ahead of us but were 'adjusted' back a bit! A great battle as well in the latter stages with No Frontiers Abu. The usual craic!!

Thanks to Ivan and team CCAR for another day of brilliant fun.

RACE REPORT - Not to be read if you are on prescription drugs.

The hooter sounded and we set out from Bob’s Bistro behind Ivan in his car at a helluva pace. After 1 km this had reduced to a decent enough pace, and in another 500 yards had become a dreadful pace, as lots of teams streamed past us over the duration of the big climb up the side of Binevenagh.

We were far enough down the pack to see the line of folks we needed to follow heading into the forest for the hike-a-bike bit. Unfortunately for the Peters (Cole and Cromie), they were at the front and missed the turn, heading on up the road, a mistake that was to cost them dearly at the finish through a 20-minute penalty.

Safely through the forest onto the road again, it was a slow climb up to the car park, where Joan was marshalling the tennis ball task, and we arrived as about the tenth team. Davy was dying of the heat in his blazer, which was much heavier twill than my own; this was affecting his pace badly, and we were both hacked off as a result, given all the prep we had done for the race...

On the first foot orienteering loop we seemed to make a good route choice, as we arrived back to Joan now up in fifth place, and we set off on the bikes again along the mountain ridge. The slick tyres we had were a real disaster here, and we nearly came a cropper more than once, so when we got to the mucky stuff on the other side, we just hopped off the bikes and ran down the slope along the downhill biking course, just ahead of Mark and Enda of the Spartans.

The marshal at the underground pipe was none too sure that Davy and I were going to be able to fit through, but squeeze through we did and we were off to Steve at the rope-slide. Coming back from this we found a GPS unit lying on the track, which we bagged until the finish (turned out this belonged to Marty from No Frontiers Abu).

A fast descent through the forest followed, and we were careful to watch out for the checkpoint at the little quarry halfway down. Just after getting this, we flew on past poor Deliverance Brothers, who were climbing back up the hill to get the checkpoint. Hehe. We spotted No Frontiers Abu as well, up ahead, and we assumed that they too had missed it initially, and that them going back for it had alerted Deliverance Brothers.

We dropped our bikes off at the bike-drop and headed into the woods following the tape to the marshal, to mark up our map. It was at this point we realised our pen didn’t work, and we had Spartans and Deliverance Brothers breathing down our necks, but they just had to wait until we borrowed a pen!

Davy was in his element on this bit with the navigating, as we totally nailed the section in great time, managing to escape Spartans and Deliverance Brothers, who were to scrabble around in the woods and lose a bit of time here. Peter Cole’s good grace has to go on record, as he is constantly keen to help other racers even in the heat of battle, and he gave us a wee clever heads-up at this point.

We reached the blindfold task at the same time as the Peters and No Frontiers Abu. This task was completed by all three teams with the grace and poise of a herd of elephants.
The Peters made good time through to the road and stole a bit of a lead by a couple of minutes, and on reaching the road we were just behind No Frontiers Abu. Marty dropped his chain here which held them up a wee bit, but they still hit the water first, as were were flaffing about so much at the kayak transition.

We put in just behind No Frontiers Abu and started battering into the wind, and we had a big surprise in the kayaks. Never in any race before had we ever over-taken another team in the boats, but somehow we managed to make a bit of progress on the lads, probably to do with the crappy conditions, and we sneaked up into third place.

At one point, the crafty devils looked like they were going to try a little portage up the shore, but it ended up being too awkward, so they put back in again. Passing Wind stormed past us on their way back to the bikes, about 20 minutes or so ahead, having been way out in front from pretty much the start of the race.

The windy rough conditions seemed to suit us OK, as we ate well into the lead that the Peters had by the time we got to the flag, so we worked hard on the way back to try and hold our position, but knowing we would not catch the Peters.

Back to shore and onto the bikes again, all that remained was to blast out the final few miles back to Bob’s Bistro. We arrived back as the third team, but the Peters had their 20 minute time penalty, so we just managed to nick second place, second to the unputdownable Passing Wind, who were deserving winners.

Those of us who were lucky enough to be 1-day racers ate our soup, sandwiches and buns with great relief at having finished for the weekend, sparing just a thought for those poor sods who were going out again that night and the following morning to race again!

Many thanks to Ivan, Joan, Steve and the rest of the CCAR team, who put on the usual fantastic race and after-race support!

Threads Pressed and Ready for Racing

Tango & Cash are looking forward to stretchin the oul limbs against the usual crew on Saturday 3rd October in the Roe Valley Rampage, hoping to improve on our position in last year's race, when Passing Wind wiped the floor with the field. Read Passing Wind Strikes Back.

We are hoping that Davy's strict diet of anything not nailed to the floor will make the difference this time. Gobble gobble!

Rat Race Belfast 2009 Hits Channel 4

Sunday 20 September sees Rat Race Belfast 2009 feature on Channel 4 at the primetime slot of 8:00am.

We only just nicked it on the day by 6 seconds, so here's hoping we cling on to victory on the TV edit as well!

Annual Donegal Epic - Aranmore 2009

Yaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! As if 100-odd KM in hilly west Donegal terrain wasn't enough...





(I didn't spill a drop... unlike the labrador!!!!)

Six Seconds! Rat Race Victory 2009

Rat Race 2009 - champions again!! Tango and Cash and the Warrior Princess just manage to nick it by 6 seconds over about 5 hours of racing, thanks to a mighty long-jump success from Karen.



RACE REPORT – the usual warnings apply

Back to defend our title as Belfast Rat Race 2008 champions, our expectations of success this time were not so high, as this was our first competitive outing, of any sort, in 2009.

Due to the time freed up by not racing, the flower-beds at home were nicely weeded, and our family obligations and domestic chores all completed; but amateur botany, shoddy DIY, and the pastoral mentoring of young children were unlikely to be of much use to us during the race.

So we decided to bolster our team with the addition of some female intuition in the form of Karen Duggan, racing this year as Tango & Cash and the Warrior Princess. Karen’s presence turned out to be a masterstroke, as her mighty long-jump, after grim failure from Davy and me, secured the vital points that meant we retained the title as champions once again.

Mean streets foot section, Saturday evening

It was great to see so many familiar faces, competitors and Rat Race crew alike, in preparation for action in the MeanStreets foot section on Saturday afternoon.

Following a unique dining experience of subs, sausage rolls, crisps and cake from M&S, we marked up our map outside City Hall, colour co-ordinating all the check-points according to their open and shut times, and planned our route.

By the time the race started at 5pm, we were in good shape with route choice. However, it seemed everyone else had the same plan, so that soon sobered us up for the task ahead.

Surprised at how quickly we were clearing checkpoints, we soon realised we were going to arrive at some of them too early for them to be open. So a few adjustments were applied to our plans and we hared off in our own direction, away from the seemingly preferred route.

Davy was greatly looking forward to the tattoo parlour task, having already settled the design in his head for a naked lady wrapped in a python plastered up his back; but, given the queue, he had to settle for the Rat Race standard.

We hadn’t a clue how we were doing after this, as there were folks running in all directions all over the city after half an hour or so, so we kept plugging away and cleared the course in pretty good time, arriving back as maybe the fourth team.

Job done for the night, and looking forward to the task awaiting us the next morning, we scientifically replaced lost nutrients in the form of a massive feed in Zen Restaurant, before retiring happy and excited.

Nine2Five bike section, Sunday morning

We were conscious of being a tad off the pace on Saturday evening, having been pipped by a few teams, and marked up our map with the usual vigour and were ready for action when the race started.

After lapping the City Hall on foot, running after a surprisingly speedy and durable ‘rat’, and messing up our maths a couple of times before getting access to our bikes, we hit the road in maybe fourth or fifth place.

We were now in the zone, race-focused, until I realised outside the Albert Clock that I had left the instruction sheet at my backside in the bike compound. We considered going back for it for about two seconds, and decided to just plough on and wing it; we had our map marked up pretty well and could just follow any other special stuff by what other teams were doing.

The kayaking was the usual bundle of laughs, and memories of the clear azure waters of the Lagan in Rat Race 2008 came rushing back as soon as we put in, especially when nearly capsized by the wake of the speedboat that was zooming up and down the river.

Delighted to be off the boats, and having slipped back a couple of places, we headed for Belvoir Park down the tow-path, and were passed by a couple more teams along the way. Davy managed to get us round the memory map course without a bother, making us up some time.

Up to Shaw’s Bridge, the water was slightly more inviting than down in the city, and we clawed a bit more time back against those around us. We were quickly at Mary Peters’ Track for the scoring tasks, legging it up the track on the 100m as best we could. Thankfully, the sprint was not a failable event!

Long jump, and Davy and I fancied our chances, no problem; Karen, stand aside, the athletes are in town. I set off on the run-up like Carl Lewis, but jumped like Thora Hird and barely made the sand-pit! Davy then did the run-up like Thora Hird and jumped like Carl Lewis, but just fell short of the target distance. Mourning the sure loss of the bonus points we knew we would badly need, Karen pretty much cleared the target MEN’s distance, easily securing us the bonus, and we were off in good form, to the shot-put.

The shot-put was never going to be a problem, as Davy had dutifully maintained the physique that saw him take the school record three years on the trot, 1974 to 1976, just in anticipation of this day, so Karen and I kept running whilst Davy put some ample ass behind it to take the bonus points easily.

The biking was slippery but great fun through Sir Thomas & Lady Dixon Park, and we were soon out onto the road. We made great time back into the city, managing to pick off a few teams on the way down, and on tipping the bikes off at City Hall, were glad to get back to having our instruction sheet for the rest of the race.

Back on foot, we shuffled down to the abseil in the Victoria Centre, which was one of the highlights of the day, once safely off at the bottom! The bike maintenance task we ripped through and were soon on our way out to the velodrome at Orangefield. We worked well as a team here, sticking together and rotating the front, made great time, and managed to steal a march on the Average Joes as we headed out towards the Ice Bowl along Comber Cycleway.

Davy, our resident Big Lebowski, cleaned the bowling at the second attempt, and we sprinted round to the handguns to quickly learn that Karen couldn’t hit a bull in the ass with a banjo! Some patient tutoring from Davy and she got the hang of it no problem.

Out onto the Newtownards Road, we were too early for the Football and Cricket tasks, and were told by the marshal to carry on, so we pushed on up the hill to Stormont before striking for home via Connswater. Again too early for the task at the Fitness First activity, it only remained to get back to City Hall as fast as we could, working hard to stick together and grind out any extra time we could.

The Final Hurdle saw Karen chucked in and out of the inflatable enclosure rather unceremoniously, and Davy and I doing Thora Hird impressions again, but somehow managed to get in and out, and dipped to finish.

All that, and it came down to 6 seconds. We were the third team back, just under ten minutes from the front team, but once the bonuses had been applied, we just managed to nick it by 6 seconds.

Acknowledgement has to go to Ivan Park, Peter Cole and Paul Mahon, whose team No Frontiers Abu beat us well on the ground over the race, but just missed one bonus and were then victims of a wee bit of confusion that they had the good grace not to make a big deal about. Also Billy Reed, Gerry Kingston and Taryn McCoy of No Frontiers Passing Wind, who also beat us over the ground, and were in only a few seconds after Abu, but just missed a couple of bonuses.

Things were rounded off nicely with a massive feed of chips from “Big Mo’s” chip-van.

Our thanks to all the Rat Race team for organising another fantastic event. Looking forward to 2010 already!

Secret Weapon for Rat Race 2009

Tango & Cash are teaming up with the Warrior Princess, Karen Duggan, for the Belfast Rat Race 2009.

If last year's dizzy heights at Rat Race 2008 are to be reached, she'd better bring a couple of tow-ropes. Mush! Mush!

The two-day race kicks off on Saturday 8th August. See the Rat Race Adventure website for more info.