Zoo to Zoo, Via Everywhere

Starting from the Zoo at 08:30 am on Friday 11 March, our plan was to basically explore as much of the off-road stuff around Belfast that we could before tea-time.

The route we took is here - bits of it I am sketchy on precise route, through all the singletracky stuff, as we were back and forth and all over the place.  http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=4342531

A great day’s fun, well over 50km, but no speed records were broken.  It was like the tortoise and the hare, except the hare was run over and killed on the road by a truck and replaced by another tortoise. 
 

The tortoise and the tortoise, Cave Hill, just before we finished.

We parked on the entrance drive at the Belfast Zoo, fixed the puncture we'd got with the bike on the roof(!) hopped across the main road, turned left then immediately right opposite Pizza Hut and nipped down through Valley Park down to the Valley Leisure Centre. 

Entrance to Valley Park, just down from the NI Hospice building

A quick skite round the old BMX track down in the corner below Valley Leisure Centre, we headed to the main road again and across it down Glas-na-Braden Glen.  

Super winding singletrack on Glas-Na-Braden Glen took us along the river all the way down to the Shore Road.  To get this singletrack rather than the tarmac path, you need to turn right just after you enter the glen and go down a set of steps made out of breezeblocks.

Across the Shore Road, under the railway bridge, and out onto the cycle path alongside the M2 motorway, all the way into town, through Clarendon Dock and the city centre.  

The Big Fish; in front of one of Belfast's most recognisable landmarks

We followed the Lagan cycle route down to Ormeau Park, and headed in for a quick blast round the XMTB singletrack, which was great fun but pretty darn slippery!  A great spot for more proper trails to be considered.

We had a great chat with a very nice old fellow on a Dawes Super Galaxy, who stopped to give his assistance when we were fixing a puncture. He then proceeded to tell us of the folly of standard bicycles, the wisdom of the recumbent, and of his many biking adventures in 'Deutschland'.

The view from Belvoir.  Yep, we're going back over all that later.

We headed on down the Lagan (on the other side of the river than shown on map), and rattled round Belvoir and the Real Cycles MTBRider.com built trails.

The Real Cycles MTBRider.com log-ride - slippery, but still doable!

Stopping off in the Lock-keepers Inn, we enjoyed some great breakfast and plenty of banter with occasional adventure racing foes Craig and Joe, who joined us for refreshments.  Full of bacon, eggs, toast, coffee, muffins and a sneaky Star Bar, all of which took us about an hour, we stopped in with the folks from CAAN at Barnett's Demesne to say hello and congratulate them on their great work on MTB trail development, and were given a guided tour of the fantastic facilities at the Befast Activity Centre.  From there, it was out to the bumps, jumps and berms at Mary Peters track, then we headed out to Sir Thomas & Lady Dixon Park for another snuffle around the trails.

Tayto across the world - the Taj Mahal, Sydney Opera House, The Eiffel Tower, and of course Tesco in Dunmurry

From Dunmurry, we lit for Colin Glen along the road; Colin Glen is brilliant!  It’s a winding tarmac path climb which turns to rough stone then singletrack, but along sections of it right beside the river there is singletrack snaking parallel to the main path.  When you get under the road bridge then up to a long set of wooden steps, go up the steps.  The other way looks tempting, but it peters out and you will end up clambering around in the muck and branches and having to ford the river a couple of times and scrabble through a quarry (which is the way we went, clearly!)

Popping out the top of Colin Glen, we then went up the road to Divis & Black Mountain, just climbing on the tarmac, stopping off briefly with the lads building the extension to the Black Mountain boardwalk, who were doing all the joinery out of the rain, in the National Trust shed at the Divis car park.

Hard at work, helping to extend the boardwalk on Black Mountain

The fruits of our labour - not bad for an afternoon's work.

The snow was just starting to fall properly, so we didn’t hang about on Divis & Black and we took the rough stone path back over towards Cave Hill, passing through Wolf Hill Quarry and going over the top of Squire’s Hill on the way.

Onto Cave Hill via the Upper Hightown Road car park, the legs were starting to hurt on the final steep climb, and we were mighty glad to reach the summit, as the weather was now descending into farce.

It was on the summit that we met Elise, a very nice young lady from Boston, MA, who was out enjoying the Irish weather (it was sleeting hard at this point!) and looking for hike recommendations.  We had a good chat and a laugh and then bade her farewell in the sleet and snow.  Rather than hooking round to the right and down Cave Hill, we stayed left, down the wooden steps, and took the trails round towards the zoo again, which were fantastic fun and very slippery.  We had to hop over one fence, then had a nice grassy path to a stile, which dropped us right back to the car again on the zoo driveway – perfect!

CCAR Castle Ward, 15 March

Photos courtesy of Uberdog, Ireland's only outdoor and extreme sports magazine

Our first adventure race in 18 months, we had not been wasting our time and had been carbo-loading relentlessly in the interim.  Miraculously, all the hard work paid off, and we were delighted to just nick second place in a hard-fought CCAR race at Castle Ward on 5 March.  Well off the pace of race winners Passing Wind, we were just ahead of the overall race series winners Dogleap, who just had a bad day at the office.

Lord and Lady Tango & Cash take a jaunty carriage ride around their extensive Castle Ward grounds

We couldn’t believe the turn-out of over 50 teams for the race, the final race of the CCAR 2010/11 series, as CCAR had been struggling for numbers last time we’d raced.  Great to see the sport really taking off, and Ivan Park and CCAR still at the heart of it.

Early confusion

Following Ivan’s race briefing at HQ, we rolled down on the bikes to the estate house for the start.  We were sent off sequentially, starting our timers as we crossed the line, and once we got the nod we set off hard downhill on foot to pick up our first map.  There was a bit of mayhem as all the teams seemed to have been given the other map from the one they’d expected, but knowing Ivan, that was deliberate and all part of the fun.  Confusion reigned for a time!

After morning prayers, the staff gathered themselves for some marching drills, before serving tea in the drawing room.

We rattled round the two 3-point orienteering loops in sharp enough fashion, but it took us a while before we realised that the thicket shapes marked on the map actually bore no resemblance to those we experienced – but hey, they grew, I guess!

Scotsman

We lifted map C and legged it out of the field round the estate path alongside another team (one of ‘em was a Scotsman, bless him), and we reckoned the only folks in front of us were Passing Wind and Dogleap, who had been joined at the hip for the whole orienteering bit and were absolutely flying.

We were neck and neck with this other team as far as the checkpoint on the gate, where we decided to take a direct route back to HQ while the other chaps took the path.  This worked a treat for us, as we had completed and left the wooden skis task without seeing the other guys, who as it turned out, had made a wrong turn on the path.

Damp

Back down to the estate house for the window count, we hopped onto the bikes and followed the arrows to the kayak transition point.  Third team on the water, about ten minutes behind the leaders, we took our chance to give both Passing Wind and Dogleap a damn good soaking as they passed us on their return trip. 

Further soakings were administered to Surf’n’Turf and Get No Sleep, whom we met on our own return trip.  After much tee-heeing, it was only later that we did our sums and realised that we were worst off, as they only had one soaking each, but we got soaked 4 times – we’ll know for again.

Out of the boats and onto the bikes, we looped up to the cairn and some other stuff I’ve forgotten, and back to kayak transition, guiding a couple of lost lads down to the boats for their paddle section, and retrieving their dropped water bottle.

Wii foot

The wee foot loop to the orienteering-posts and the castle ruin was handy enough until we got the grid reference, then we realised we had to batter back up that bloody hill again to the CP at the back of HQ. 

We met Passing Wind and Dogleap, together as usual, coming down as we were halfway up the hill; they were about fifteen minutes ahead of us.  Dropping back down the road to the bikes again, loads of teams were now streaming up the hill, about ten minutes behind us; there was plenty of racing still to do, so we knew we had to keep motoring and be careful with the navigation.  Without delay, we hopped on the bikes and headed out to do the bonus bike loop after the water-filler-with-holes-ball-thing-task.

Brucie bonus loop

We picked up bonus 1 no problem, then we made a major balls-up on the way to the bonus 2, completely missing a road because of where we’d folded the map.  Davy is still adamant that it was the map’s fault!

This mistake meant we had to pass bonus 3 to get to bonus 2 (meeting Dogleap and then Passing Wind going the correct way; they must have wondered what the devil we were at!), then back to bonus 3 again.   It added just over 2km that we could ill afford at this point, as we knew there were other teams close and we were starting to flag from our efforts. 

We picked up bonus 2 just ahead of Get No Sleep and hot on their heels His’n’Hers, both of whom we met on the road with them heading for bonus 2, and us now heading back again from bonus 2 to bonus 3.  We reckoned we now had only about 2 minutes on Get No Sleep, which was unfortunate, as we were both absolutely HANGIN’ at this stage.  Cramp starting to set in, Davy had taken to snorting Dioralyte powders (even trying one sachet as a suppository!) and I was in the foetal position softly singing “Rock of Ages, Cleft for Me” – we thought we’d be caught by the chasing pack for sure. 

Dogleap barking

Eventually realising that everyone else behind us was absolutely busted as well, we managed to keep slugging on through the woods.  Arriving up to Greg at the jigsaw, Dogleap were just leaving it, so we reckoned they’d either cocked up somewhere, or they are RUBBISH at jigsaws!  It turned out that Dogleap had lost a fair bit of time by taking a different route up to the jigsaw across a field, and the poor lads had been chased back by an angry farmer.

The drop back down the hill on the bikes was hairy enough in places, and we had to resist the temptation to ride the new GREAT-looking MTB trails, to instead sproughal down through briars and bracken to the estate path.  We could see Dogleap about 200 yards ahead just disappearing round the corner, and we ground our way rightly up the mucky path up the back way to HQ.

Phew!

We crossed the finish line surprised to see only one set of bikes; the skittish steeds of Passing Wind.  Dogleap's altercation with the farmer, and a wee bit of confusion on the perimeter of HQ, ended up scuppering their hopes for second, and they nipped across the line just after us to take third, with Get No Sleep finishing strongly to take fourth, just ahead of His’n’Hers.

Great fun afterwards, with grub and refreshments laid on in capital style by Joan, and no doubt more craic besides, well into the evening. 

Massive thanks to Ivan and the rest of his team CCAR, who put on another incredible race; amazing stuff, made all the more remarkable given the small team of marshals.

Well done to Passing Wind on the day, Dogleap on their overall series win, and all the category winners across the field.  An honest workout, no mistake, and no better way to enjoy the best of the outdoors; in good-natured competition, against yourself and others, up to your elbows in muck!

The cortege prepares to leave

The Antrim Hills Heeeeuuuuugh!!

A noble quest to meet Tayto and sample the food of champions 

The idea was to nail the four Antrim Hills peaks over 500 metres (Slievenanee, Trostan, Slievanorra, Knocklayd) with the singlespeeds, drop into Ballycastle to meet the Tayto road-show for some well-earned crisps to replace the calories we’d lost, then head round Fair Head and do some other fun bits and pieces on the way back to Glenariff.  That was the plan...

Nothing would stop us meeting Pat Tayto in Ballycastle, who we were shocked to find was Davy's long-lost twin brother.

We were more than happy to leave Davy’s violently sick family at home in Antrim at 7:45am, and we parked near the wee hostel above Glenariff Forest Park at about 8:30am.  It was a cold, crisp, but clear morning – perfect for the hills. 

We’d never been up on Slievenanee and it was a nice enough walk up from Agan Bridge.  The tops of the hills must have been frozen for weeks, as there were some intriguing ice formations, but it’s normally so boggy in the Antrim Hills in general that we were glad of a crusty top; though when we did sink beneath the crust it was damnably cold on the wee tootsies!

Slievenanee done, we picked our way down to the saddle before dragging the bikes up Trostan, and by the time we were on top, the sun began to shine, and all was going according to plan.  We celebrated with Cadbury’s Cream Eggs and a sandwich before dropping onto The Ulster Way for a bit, then taking road and path towards the top of Slievanorra.

Clearly having not escaped the plague that had ravaged his family, Davy started to complain mightily of sore guts, then he ran out of gas and we had to get off and walk for ten minutes, then unusually he stopped complaining for a while, before finally collapsing in the ditch vomiting BIG.

Davy comes a cropper half way up Slieveanorra

Our Antrim Hills 500 dream now looking in tatters, he felt much better after a good hurl, but within another 5 minutes, he had no energy left in the tank at all and could barely walk.  He dragged his ass slowly to the top, and it was a long free-wheel down to the road.

We decided to split up here, sending me up over Knocklayd, the fourth and final mountain, and Davy cut his losses and took the flattish road round towards Ballycastle.  Knocklayd was a savage enough climb, but soon nailed with bike over shoulder, and the descent down into Ballycastle Forest and into the town was amazing, best of the day; great craic if you can be bothered dragging a bike up there.

By the time I had reached Ballycastle, Davy had only just arrived too, on foot, completely wasted, having succumbed to both a broken freewheel AND a puncture on the road.  We walked the bikes to the Spar to see the folks from Tayto, I ate my own body-weight in prawn cocktail crisps, then went for a hot dog and chips for dessert.  Davy just drank Coke and was having difficulty staying upright, so we took the common sense approach and got the bus to Ballymena. 

After Davy had vomited again into a bin at Ballymena bus station, big Stevie picked us up and left us back to the car at Glenariff – good old Stevie!  On the way back to Antrim, one more bout of vomiting from Davy from our moving car just off the Greystone Road (Davy was driving!) was enough to do us for the day.

All-told, a thoroughly enjoyable wee trip, unless you’re Davy!

Slievenanee, in happier times

The flat top of Slievenanee was bleak, looking towards Trostan

 

Ice!  This all looked much better on the day

Summit of Trostan, sun out, cream eggs down the 'hatch' (ah, I enjoyed that pun)

Looking from Trostan towards Slievanorra and Knocklayd

Davy considers the erstwhile contents of his stomach on Slieveanorra 

Davy IS genuinely sick here, but always puts on a good show for the camera!

Top of Knocklayd, on my lonesome

One more barf from the car, 300 yards from home

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Following 2010's hibernation and meditation, we're coming back into action in 2011 with renewed vigour, unquestionably bigger and better rested than ever before.  In the meantime, we wish all of our friends and colleagues a fulfilling festive period.

(OK, Davy, you can relax the abs now - we got the shot)

The men who learn endurance, are they who call the whole world, brother.
Charles Dickens

TrailBadger Annual Conference, 9 December

A successful and enjoyable evening with 15 friends, fire, meat, music and banter in the snow-covered winter wonderland that was TrailBadger HQ.

Three items on this year's agenda:

• Man of the Year award - won for an unprecented second year on the trot by Hugh for outstanding endeavour, but he was ready this time and didn't quite yield the entertainment of 2009
• Riding a bike up the ladder that nearly resulted in Sparky's death at last year's conference, over the TrailBadger igloo, and down the snow ramp - following Rick's rather laissez-faire attempt, this was manfully achieved by Davy, albeit he landed square on his nose on the other side
• Any other business - four additional items were presented under AOB:
• rhino-charging the igloo from all sides whilst Aran tried to patch up the holes from the inside;
• a long debate on the obvious short-comings of civilian pilots;
• attempting to fix an unexplained subsidence in the TrailBadger HQ perimeter wall; and
• lamenting the state of Jack's wife's new car.

The TrailBadger igloo, poised and ready to receive its challengers,
prior to its untimely demise

Breaking News - Man with red coat stands in front of windmills

Big Davy, on Big Collin, 14 November

CCAR Race 1, Cootehill, 6 November 2010

Lamentably, Tango and Cash weren't able to make this one, giving rise to plenty of pre-race taunts (as in the poster below) from some of the younger (and pretty pasty-looking, it has to be said) competitors.



Defying their ill-looking poster pallour, a big congratulations has to go to Sean and Enda, who came a creditable fourth in the race, despite suffering a puncture, a penalty, and an additional three sittings at the cracker-eating task - "COOOOOOOKKIEEEEES"

The irony of the team name "No race for old men" won't be lost on the lads, given that the average age of the folks on the podium was 63 (only brought down by Melanie Spath, who surely can't be any more than 21, and Gerry Kingston, who is currently studying for his 11+ and says he is really looking forward to "big school").

Causeway Coast Adventure Racing (CCAR)

Slieve Martin Slaughter 2010 (early shift)

Unable to make the official Slieve Martin Slaughter at 9am on Saturday due to a cake-baking competition we were judging that morning, we took our chance 8 hours earlier to reunite the Post Bike with the summit of Slieve Martin, then tore down the switchbacks on Davy's new tandem.

Anyone who fancies a rattle on the Post Bike over Fern Gully, now's your chance, as we left the bike up at the summit for some brave soul to have a crack!

Our tandem descent proved tricky enough, as we had lost the batteries for the bike lights on the way up; found one of them right at the bottom of the switchbacks, but the other one remains on the hill somewhere. If you find it, stick up a message.

Official NTSR Slieve Martin Slaughter 2010 event report here.


(1:00am on Slieve Martin, misty and c-c-c-cold)


(1:10am - A final moment with the post-bike before we departed on the tandem)


(4:00pm - The old post bike lounges majestically atop Slieve Martin, slaughter completed for another year)

TrailBadger Annual Scotland Trip, 1 - 3 October

Click image for full size.

Inspired by Rembrandt van Rijn's "The Nightwatch" or "The Shooting Company of Franz Banning Cocq"

Starring: Team TrailBadger, Glentress 2010
Creative direction: Ian Shovels
Art restoration: PJ

The Mourne 500 - Take 2! 30 July

Every point in the Mournes over 500m in height – 21 hours (18 hrs 26 min from Point 1 to Point 39), 68km, 5400m of climbing.

Atop Finlieve, the Mourne 500 completed

Following our abject failure on 5 June, we were all lined up to give the Mourne 500 another crack with the bikes on 30 July. Unfortunately, Davy had to pull out at the last minute due to a particularly nasty bout of athlete’s foot, so instead Enda and I decided to have a quick stroll around the route to stretch the legs, Enda fresh from completing the Transalp Challenge with Mickey Laverty as Team TrailBadger the week before.

GPS stats of our Mourne 500 route on the day

Photo Gallery of the Mourne 500

Incapacitated as he was, Davy joined us for every stride via his trusty CB radio, and was a constant source of inspiration and advice through what turned out to be a pretty arduous 21 hours!

We decided to do the route in the opposite direction to the previous bike effort, parking at Carrick Little car park and heading up Binnian, our start time about 11:20am in the rain and mist.

Food and supplies were similar to before, with LOTS of pizza, chocolate, gels and energy bars (crisps too would have greatly improved the experience), plus first aid kit and bivvy bag, torch and extra layers, etc. But no bikes!

The weather was unpredictable, with rain, drizzle, mist, wind, sunshine and clear skies to keep us on our toes, but it was pretty cold, wet, windy and miserable through the night. Throughout, we were glad of our compass to keep us right, as visibility was very changeable.

It started to get dark when we were coming off Ben Crom around 10pm, and the following mountains were tackled in total darkness: Doan, Slieveloughshannagh, Carn, Muck, Ott, Slievenamuck, Cock, Pigeon Rock. The first hints of daybreak greeted us as we tackled Slievemoughanmore.

After our final point, Finlieve, we shuffled down to the road and started a 12km trudge on the tarmac back to the car. Once we got to the shop in Attical, to our great relief a geological research team were kind enough to offer us a lift back to the car park in their Land Rover.

So, who’s next for this one?!

All the points on our route

The Mourne 500, 5 June 2010

"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." Michelangelo

Spences Mountain - the end of the line for us

The challenge

We’ve been lying low in 2010, so we thought it was time we hit some peaks with the bikes. Hence the challenge of the Mourne 500 was born... Every point in the Mournes above 500m, unsupported (no help from others, with supplies or anything), and of course in the company of our singlespeed bikes. We identified 35 points to be visited, and we set our route to try and nail it on 5 June 2010, with the intention of leaving a Tango and Cash calling card at each point.

How we got on

We failed! We started at 02:30 (yep, that’s 2:30am) from Carrick Little car park, and headed along the road on the bikes towards Finlieve, our first target point. The weather was dry, warm and sunny the whole time (after 04:55 anyway, when the sun came up).

Distance we travelled: 67 km

Vertical climbing: 3,562 metres

See all our photos (links to Picasa)

Detail of our route, including escape point - click for large

In short, the mountains brutalised, battered, tore, wrenched and drained us, and we reluctantly decided to take ourselves off the hills after completing Spences Mountain (our 28th point), with 7 points of our Mourne 500 challenge remaining. It was soon to be pitch dark and, aside from feeling absolutely dreadful, clambering around on the side of in particular Slievelamagan with bikes on our backs in the middle of the night was just too darn dangerous, and we weren’t equipped properly.

So we peeled off our intended route below Rocky Mountain and took the path down to Dunnywater and back to Carrick Little car park along the road. Arriving back at the car at 22:30, that was exactly 20 hours on the mountains, a good solid day’s work-out by anyone’s reckoning, and boy we were in pieces.
A quick chicken and chips in Newcastle nearly didn’t happen, as chippy staff were concerned that we were a couple of near-comatose drunks! The drive home to Antrim via Belfast was completed at about 27 miles per hour, and on a number of occasions on the M2 we were very thankful for the invention of rumble strips!

Looking back over the map, we worked out that only about 200 metres max of our climbing was done with us actually riding the bikes. The rest of the time we were carrying or dragging them, and that was the case for lots of the flat and downhill too, given the tricky ground. We had lots of food, kit and supplies with us; with bike on back that was over 40lbs of weight to our packs, which was hard enough going in bits. Forget the bikes; it would be a really good challenge on foot, and we know a few folks who might be up for that...

Anyone who nails this one, it’s a helluva big achievement, and there’s a beer on us from Mourne Country’s own Whitewater Brewery (makers of Belfast Ale, at grid ref 260 171) for anyone who can do it. We’d love to see somebody give it a crack, so get in touch if you want any info.

Good to see Barry Tinnelly and his boys along the way (thanks for the Mars bar and brandy ball), also Rowan and Ian of 26Extreme in Trailbadger tops, who were scouting their big race for this weekend coming, the Mourne Way Marathon.

Dreadful bits

It was a hard day out, no question, but there were a couple of bits that were particularly tough going. Some of the terrain was woeful, especially dragging or carrying a bike, but none of the climbs have made our list!

• Coming down off Eagle Mountain to Windy Gap – deadly steep
• Descending Donard to Crossone – 300m very steep descent through thick vegetation and rocks
• Finlieve to Shanlieve – peat hags, clambering them up and down, up and down, endlessly (until it ended)
• From Doan to Ben Crom and back to under Meelbeg – more peat hags, long grass, real heavy going
• Descending one of the Meels - can't remember which one, but it was hellish steep and tricky going from rock to rock

Choosing our target points

Anything that looked like it had more than 10m prominence (stickin up!) from the ground around it, we added to the list of points to be visited, and we threw in a few more that we were not sure about, just to cover ourselves, as some of the maps have differing data on them. We got this info just by studying the contour lines on the maps, nothing more scientific than that, and I know the nerds could probably pick holes in some of our choices. It’s worth saying, we didn’t clamber up on top of any tors (apart from Bearnagh main tor, which I nearly fell off), as rock-climbing ain’t our thing!

Pizza

We were delighted to be sponsored by Antrim’s Pizza the Action for our Mourne 500 attempt. We started out with 48 slices of pizza, and we ate 38 of them during the day. Ham and pineapple was the best topping by a mile, and went down a treat. “Mighty Meaty” was a poor choice for one of the pizzas (our fault), so 3 slices of that ended up in the Ott car park, 2 in Bloody Bridge River, and the other 3 fell apart in the bottom of the rucksack, and they’re still there. The only other pizza remaining was 2 slices of chicken and sweet-corn, which was palatable but dry, and required a little extra seasoning. A huge thanks to Hugh of Pizza the Action for fuelling the fat boys in our challenge; definitely good grub for that kind of long day out.

Give us a shout if you want any info about this route.

The UN aid convoy made it through in the nick of time

Sunrise in the Mournes, circa 5:00am

A typical climb - slogging up Bearnagh

View towards Hen Mountain off the top of Cock Mountain

Only 47 more slices to go

More "Man from Del Monte" than "Man from Milk Tray"!

Davy snuggles into his final resting place, on top of Crossone, the end now close

A bottle of this stuff with our compliments if you can nail this route

Tango and Cash are now on Twitter!